My older daughter, Nia, started a cake baking business in high school. She was always ready and willing to invest in her own business be it buying the ingredients or purchasing business cards and cake boxes. On a regular basis, though, she would often ask her dad to purchase an ingredient she forgot she needed. …
My older daughter, Nia, started a cake baking business in high school. She was always ready and willing to invest in her own business be it buying the ingredients or purchasing business cards and cake boxes. On a regular basis, though, she would often ask her dad to purchase an ingredient she forgot she needed. …
For many of us, we can’t wait to bid farewell to 2020 fast enough. From the impact of sickness and death from the pandemic to the trauma of witnessing the senseless murder of unarmed, innocent African Americans by police with no accountability, we have all been impacted by the events of 2020. Some of us…
As an academician, I do know many women with doctoral degrees. For the last week on social media, I have read about the experiences of sexism of friends and professional acquaintances after the Wall Street Journal published an ill-thought opinion piece suggesting the next First Lady of the United States, Dr. Jill Biden, should consider…
Vivamus nec purus nec leo blandit pellentesque vitae nec magna. Suspendisse turpis urna, consectetur in sagittis et, vehicula quis risus. Vestibulum eu sollicitudin nunc. Etiam mattis tortor velit, sit amet.
Today is my older daughter’s birthday. It is also her senior year of high school. Watching my Facebook friends post move-in day pictures of their new college freshmen have evoked feelings I have not had when I have seen those pictures in the past. I suppose in the past, it seemed like a far away…
I am a strong advocate for all Historically Black Colleges and Universities. I am a proud graduate of Howard University. I am proud professor at North Carolina Central University. My oldest daughter will attend Hampton University in the fall. Last week, the interim provost and the NCCU Chancellor Johnson O. Akinleye had conference calls with…
Its week seven of our stay-at-home order in North Carolina. Most of us have moved from disbelief, fear and trying to make sense of it, to settling in even if it’s with reluctance. I felt overwhelmed and almost paralyzed with inaction at the very beginning. As a university professor I have taught classes online before…
Ut egestas augue ac molestie pharetra. Sed porta dui quis imperdiet Morbi egestas enim ut nibh faucibu consectetur.
I generally consider myself a quick study in many things. I like to think of myself as a critical thinker—I read, look for evidence, and form (mostly) sound judgments. Yet, it has taken a while to wrap my head around the Covid-19 pandemic. For me, reality hit when the University of North Carolina System, in…
When I was a kid growing up in Kansas City, Missouri I loved to hear the ringing bell of the ice cream truck. I would hear it a block or so over, run into the house and ask my mother for some change, run back out and hoped the truck came to my block. My…
Fusce faucibus lacus id odio scelerisque, eget rhoncus neque hendrerit. Nam urna est, consequat a molestie eu, sagittis id nunc. Nulla at tempus mi, non euismod mi. Morbi gravida condime!
Last week, I had a lovely day trip to Winston-Salem, North Carolina to the Black Theater Festival with my teen daughters. We had a “White Girlz” trip catching a play, grabbing dinner, and visiting the vendors before we headed back home to Raleigh which is about 100 miles away. We began our sojourn at dusk.…
A few months ago, I was talking to my girlfriend, Sarah, on one of our recent car phone conversations. We both are professors in different states and do most of our talking on our commute to work. During the summers, we talk less, but do manage to catch each other in between errands. I…
A couple of weekends ago, my social media platforms were lit up about the Surviving R. Kelly documentary. I had not committed to watching it. I believed R. Kelly was a pedophile years ago when the allegations first came out. I didn’t need a documentary to tell me what I already knew. However, since my…
When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to be made whole?” ~ John 5:5 Happy New Year! I love new beginnings. The start of a new year. New season. New semester. New quarter. New month. New week.…
Lights and decorations. Finding the perfect gift. Mailing the Christmas cards before Christmas. Holiday galas and office parties. Cookies, eggnog and other indulgences. Christmas movies on Lifetime and Hallmark. And, of course no Christmas season is complete without Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas.” Awww…the sights, sounds and tastes of Christmas. There is something special and celebratory…
I love the Word of God! No matter how many times I have read a scripture, it can speak to the particular moment I am currently living. That is exactly what happened to me last week when I was finishing my Bible Study Fellowship lesson. BSF is an international, interdenominational, in-depth bible study that provide…
My husband and I recently had a disagreement. It is the same one that has come up ever so often for the last 20 years of our marriage. I know men and women communicate differently. Afterall, I do have three degrees in communication. He knows biblical precepts that help foster good communication. Afterall, he is…
In January of this year, I kicked of my blog with an announcement that I would do a blog series on establishing boundaries in our lives. I wrote two posts. One dealt with establishing boundaries as self-care. My godmother Kathi was super excited about the series as she always was about most things I did.…
Earlier this summer I had a delightful conversation with my 15 -year-old daughter. It was delightful for a couple of reasons. Since being in tween and teen-dom the last few years, I have learned that when this one talks and shares her deep thoughts or insights about anything she is thinking or feeling, I had…
Recently, I published a book, The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices, and I was having a conversation with a colleague about my own experiences as a pastor’s wife. The colleague said, “It must be really hard to be in that role.” I responded as I always do, which is, “not…
On this past Sunday evening, I was finishing up my syllabi for the semester and engaged in a couple of conversations on Facebook with other professors lamenting over the same thing. I don’t really watch award shows, but all the sudden I noticed several people posting about Oprah Winfrey’s acceptance speech of the Cecil B.…
Happy New Year Speak Lifers! I have a confession. Since Thanksgiving, I’ve been off the wagon…the food wagon that is. I am a fairly disciplined and healthful eater. I say fairly because I do have the middle-aged, mid-section roll that is evidence of indulging in carbs, sugar and fat from time to time. They taste…
In the last few days of 2017, its always good to reflect on everything we experienced and accomplished throughout the year. Over the last 363, I can count an abundance of blessings as I experienced God’s provision, protection, mercy and favor. Likewise, I have experienced and watched good friends experience parts of our lives shatter…
This post was originally posted March 8, 2011 on a blog I participated with other pastors’ wives about being a pastor’s wife. At the time, I was working on collecting narratives from pastors’ wives and that collection of stories turned into The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices which will be…
This post was originally posted February 22, 2011 on a blog I participated with other pastors’ wives about being a pastor’s wife. At the time, I was working on collecting narratives from pastors’ wives and that collection of stories turned into The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices which will be…
This post was originally posted October 26, 2010 on a blog I participated with other pastors’ wives about being a pastor’s wife. At the time, I was working on collecting narratives from pastors’ wives and that collection of stories turned into The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices which will be…
This post was originally posted on January 11, 2011 on a blog I participated with other pastors’ wives about being a pastor’s wife. At the time, I was working on collecting narratives from pastors’ wives and that collection of stories turned into The First Lady: African American Pastors’ Wives in Their Own Voices which will…
A few months ago, I was invited to speak at a women’s conference. I was fascinated by the concept the conference organizer envisioned for this portion of the conference—six women speaking back-to-back for eight minutes each on her assigned topic. I thought to myself, “Cool! Eight minutes is not really that long, and I am…
At the end of the school year, my 11 year-old daughter announced to me that she and most of her friends, including her two best school friends, would audition for the drama and dance middle school class elective next school year. My baby is smart, gifted, and a great speaker, but this was area where…
Mother’s Day. A day of cards, gifts, brunches, and posting pictures in a Facebook “I Love You Mom” frame. A day when we say, “Thank you, Mom for all your sacrifices.” This day of celebration is an inescapable day of sorrow for many. There are those on this day who mourn the loss of never…
What do we do when we don’t like the president of the United States? Better yet, let’s make it closer to home. What do you do when you don’t like a person who has legitimate power in your life? The boss who is less competent than you. A parent who has failed in his or…
This post is written with permission from a grieving mother who still has hope. Few things are harder than burying a child. In our finite minds it simply is not the natural order of life. Earlier this year, that is exactly what Sheree had to do when her 19 year-old daughter Dede was killed…
Marcus and I go to the same church. I met him 10 years ago when my husband was called as the pastor. He was in high school at the time and was memorable for several reasons: mainly that he is over six feet. As a teenager, he was smart, mannerable and funny. He did play…
For the last several days, we watched news reports of the exchange between Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and Muslim parents of a fallen U. S. soldier, Khizr and Ghazala Khan. Trump felt unfairly criticized by Khan at the Democratic National Convention last week and responded to those criticisms. I, like many others, have watched…
I recently served on a committee to address the diversity of an organization. The head of the organization and the diversity committee was a white man. I believe he truly was sincere in his desire to achieve greater racial and class diversity. As he shared his hopes for the committee and organization, he made a…
Eighteen years ago today, at 2:00 p.m. I stood in the St. James United Methodist Church in Kansas City, Missouri surrounded by family and friends and said, “I do” and “I will.” I wish I could remember what I thought marriage would be like on that day. I am sure it was something unrealistic and…
For the last several years, I’ve had to deal with a toxic person. You have probably had your share as well. Toxic people are usually family members, co-workers, church or PTA members with whom you must interact—even if it is on a limited basis. I am not talking about the person with the quirky personality…
Prince fans have spent the last several weeks mourning the death of this cultural icon. I have continued to enjoy Prince’s music as an adult, but he is embedded in the soundtrack of my youth. When I learned of his death, I thought about my best friend Erika and how we would spend hours talking…
A couple of years ago I started posting Facebook status updates called <insert blank stare> when I would share absolutely ludicrous statements colleges students I teach make and my fantasy reaction to those statements, which was to simply give them a blank stare. These statements usually come at the end of the semester when those…
On Monday, Tamara Gibbs, creator and founder of Single Serving for Single Women, wrote about what it is like to be single and in love. Today, she shares in her guest blog post what it is like to be single and waiting for love. I love that final scene in Sixteen Candles when Molly…
Though I am married, I have many single friends whom I love and are dear to me. For the overwhelming majority of my childhood, my mother was a divorced, single woman. I got married in my late 20s, so I do remember what it is like to be constantly asked about your love life from…
“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all ways.” ~Psalm 91:11 Two incidents happened last month that reminded me of God’s immeasurable and perfect protection. One Tuesday evening my family had an unusually long day after my older daughter’s swim meet and my younger daughter’s school spelling bee. My girls…
I recently discovered a tote bag I got a few months ago when I was a workshop facilitator a local women’s conference. The bag remained among my unpacked workshop materials and unsold books until a few weeks later when I finally got around to putting things where they belong. In the conference tote bag was…
There is nothing more precious than to watch a young girl, who has not yet been tainted by the standards of the world, celebrate her gifts, beauty and identity. I’ve been blessed to witness both my daughters celebrate themselves, but especially in the carefree spirit of my younger one. One day, she was just standing…
Without fail, my husband continues to profoundly disappoint me. He is a great friend, companion and conversationalist. He makes me laugh often. He takes his role of priest, provider and protector seriously. What more could a wife ask? Sometimes I just wish he weren’t so darn pragmatic when it comes to marriage. Let me tell…
Five Communication Habits to Embrace in 2016 Happy New Year, Speak Lifers! Many of us will head back to work and school this week making new commitments and resolutions. Among other things, I suspect that many of us have made commitments to embrace new habits like saving money and exercising more, and eat less. As…
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from both my daughters is finding joy in the small things in life. My oldest is now a teenager, so it doesn’t manifest itself in the same way it does for my 9 year-old anymore. My younger daughter gets excited, looks forward to and enjoys the simplest things.…
I love new stuff. I love a car wash with new air freshner. I love the look of a fresh manicure or pedicure. I love the first day of school. All of these remind me of new beginnings and new possibilities. No matter how dirty my car is, how crusty my feet get, or how…
This week in Speak Life! ten courageous women shared their authentic and personal stories about their mothers or being a mother. From each account, we are reminded that motherhood and mothering take intentional work. Some of us are blessed to have model (not perfect) mothers. Others of us have had to negotiate the meaning of…
I believe God is sovereign. I believe His will is best for us. I believe God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can imagine—even heal a body. And, yet, for the last year and half, I have struggled to come to terms with God. Since September 2012, many people have died,…
This weekend my daughters, who are 11 and 7, and I were playing Categories. You know the game–it is when a person has to name a category and the participants go around and say the names of things in that particular category. One of us called the category “names of books in the Bible.” So,…
This year my 11 year-old daughter started middle school. I have always been intentional about spending time with each of my daughters by themselves, but most times we are together. This year since Nia is at a different school than her younger sister and she rides with me on my way to work, I thought…
On Saturday night, I was stunned at the acquittal of George Zimmerman for the shooting death of 17 year-old Trayvon Martin. For the past few days I’ve tried to process what has happened and to put into words this event that will endure as part of the American narrative on race and race relations in…
I didn’t watch the 2013 BET Awards show this year, but I read the comments about the show on my Facebook newsfeed. When I saw several comments about actress Meagan Good’s dress—how inappropriate it was for her, a preacher’s wife to wear—I decided to check it out. My Facebook friend Michelle Johnson, a pastor’s wife,…